My Path to Self Discovery |
Posted: July 17, 2017 |
These days, I feel confident and secure about my life. With a determined focus and a lot of personal strength, I have overcome some major complications and personal difficulties. However, it wasn't always this easy. My path to self-discovery was fraught with an addiction that nearly took my life. Thankfully, rehabilitation helped foster a new and better life. I Felt Alone and Trapped by Addiction My addiction to cocaine that started early in my college career. I didn't party a lot while I was in college, but I did need help staying focused and having the energy to do my homework. I was double-majoring and a major overachiever, but I couldn't balance my social life with my schoolwork. At the time, I thought that cocaine would help propel me to the top. Other people in my class were doing it, and it was a common way to stay focused when doing all-night cramming sessions. My perfect 4.0 GPA seemed to indicate that cocaine was the drug for me. After I had graduated, my cocaine use stuck around and got worse. While I was a successful businessman, I continually used cocaine to get what I thought was a creative edge. After a few years, though, I started to feel trapped and afraid of my use. The worst part was that I felt like I couldn't operate without snorting a little cocaine every day. As a result, I felt trapped and alone. My identity had been centered heavily on drugs and using drugs. However, I certainly was not alone. The most recent statistics on drug use claim that $740 billion is wasted every year because of addiction. Even worse, 48 percent of all people in the nation have either tried illegal drugs like cocaine or use heavily. This realization hit me hard and fueled me towards recovery. I Needed to Understand Myself Better What helped fuel my successful recovery was the realization that I had a problem. Once I understood this reality, I could then understand the mental health problems plaguing my life and causing my addiction to worsen. Like many people of my generation, I felt compelled to make more money and be as successful as possible. However, these feelings paired with a lack of self-esteem created by a demanding and controlling father. Though he was only trying to inspire me, his behavior made me think I was never good enough. However, cocaine made me feel like the king of the world. Even more than the physical high, that mental boost made it addicting. However, I was sick of living my life for cocaine and was ready to beat it for good. That was when my real recovery quest began. I Reached Out for Help To beat my addiction for good, I reached out to an outpatient rehabilitation center. Here, I met with people like me who struggled with addiction. They created an incredible support group that increased my mental strength. Even more importantly, I got the psychological help I needed to understand myself better. These days, I spend at least half an hour a day meditating and thinking about my life. Rather than turn to the support blanket of cocaine, I soothe my mental anguish and look deeper into who I am as a person. While I still have some room to grow, I'm a better person than I have ever been. And I'm drug-free. My Life is Better Than Ever Addiction recovery was not an easy road for me. Every day, I craved cocaine and fell off the wagon more than once. That is okay because relapse is part of the journey. It does need to be minimized and avoided as much as possible, however, as it can be deadly. A dear college friend of mine lost his life when he snorted too much cocaine during an acute relapse. However, I was able to walk out of treatment with my head held high. It was the kind of moment I never thought I'd experience in my life. In fact, my success here has pushed my self-esteem into high levels and inspired me to do even better at work. I think it is fair to say that beating my cocaine addiction has made me happier and more satisfied than I've ever been.
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